Apathy Incorporated

I'd sign up, but I'm too damn lazy.

Check out our music video.

Directed by me and starring my good friend DeadSnake from the forums, we present to you our first music video. I'm the Bomb by Electric Six. We had two days to film it and we feel we pulled it off very great. Watch, comment, enjoy, and such.

Proper credits can be found in the youtube description. The link straight there is here.

Thanks for watching!

Expect to see something new soon.

Friends and I have been tooling at something that could be either very awesome or very awful. Hopefully it will make people rethink their lives in the most positive of ways. At worst, it will make you rob a bank.

Love in a Land Where Good Things Could Happen.

Frank, the way she makes me feel. Its wonderful!

Really? Tell me about it.

Oh man, this feeling. I really hope its love. My lord life has never been so beautiful. Colors never so vibrant, smells never so smelly, but its the good type of smelly, and its wonderful!

What else?

I feel like my world is no longer complete when she is not next to me. There is this void, this black hole of sorrow when I can't hold her close to me and feel her warm skin pressed against mine. Theres nothing more that I'd love to do then to just hold on to her forever and never let her go. I'd fight a dog for her, heck, maybe even two dogs!

That sounds sweet and romantic.

Doesn't it, Frank!? It is insane, because though I have held many hands, and kissed many lips, I've never felt the same way as when I hold her hands and kiss her lips. This is the end, the pinnacle, the peak of emotion, and I feel so lucky that I've reached it with her.

Thats beautiful. That really is.

I just, I feel so numb, and it hurts to speak, hurts to breathe. I feel like I... I feel like I could just drop dead, right this instant. Just fall down, and die, you know? Just right down to the very asphalt we are standing on, and just die.

Really?

Yes, really! It feels so good and never ending that it could easily be mistaken for some sort of perpetual state of unbearable pain in which I can feel death himself tugging at me, trying to bring me into the world of the dead! Even more, I feel like accepting!

Steve.

The feeling is so great that I can barely stand right now. I can't walk. I feel like if I did, I'd just collapse, and have it be done with. This feeling is incredible!

Steve...

Yes Frank?

I'm pretty sure you're having a heart attack.

What?

Yeah, I mean, I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure you're uh... Look just hold on, I'm going to call an ambulance.

You mean I'm not in love?

I really don't know.

So this guy...

So, on wednesday, this guy killed his wife, kid, and then himself. Everyone that knew them was shocked by this. This family lived in a really nice house in Mililani (for you folks that don't live on Oahu, its a place where mostly well-to-do people live), and had what looked like to be a bunch of good things going for them. Their friends and family and such were not aware that they were apparently in crippling debt, had family problems, and the husband had some seriously messed up mental problems. According to their friends, they seemed like the family to compare their own to (I'm exaggerating on that one but work with me). Then you know, the husband goes and kills everyone and ruins the entire image.

So, to continue on, I'm thinking about this, specifically about how know one knew. No one knew they had problems, and so now everyone is shocked that they did, and even more, are also now dead. This kind of makes me glad I don't really have a problem letting people know when I'm miserable, because at least when/if I go insane and kill a shit load of people, everyone that knows me will say "fuck, I guess I saw it coming."

I don't even mean that as a joke (mostly). Seriously, I'm sure my friends probably say things when I'm not around like "man, that Michael, I love the guy but damn does he get really depressing sometimes" or "That guy is much like a math book, in that they both have a lot of problems." I'm sure they say that, or have said things of that nature on at least a few occasions. See, thing here is, at least they know I feel fucked up sometimes, and whether or not they feel its their place to do something, there would be no surprise to them if I ended up doing something totally insane. Really, they'd just say "Eh, saw it coming. Totally knew he was going to do that. You know what would have surprised me, though? If he didn't."

Garett, I totally imagine you saying that (Since most of you PWOT folks don't know Garett, do know he says things like that with this really funny face, and I guess you got to be there to really appreciate it, but yeah, its amazing. And yes, that is how his name is spelled).

What I am getting at here is I am not a man of unforeseen consequences, and I'm glad I'm not a man with a life down a road with a shitload of (voluntary) turns, because hot pockets are delicious, and I hope you agree.

EDIT: By the way, I am totally not planning on going insane and killing people. I like to think I have enough control over myself that no matter how depressed/angry/insane I may get, I'll never hulk my fist through anyones (or my own) face. That'd be pretty awesome though, wouldn't it? It'd be like that scene in Kung Pow when The Chosen One punches a hole through that guys stomach, except you know, it will be his face. I think if I did do that though, I could only do it under the condition I say some sweet one liner just after I do it. Maybe it will go as follows:

Me: Arg! *PUNCH THROUGH DUDES FACE*

Dude: AHH YOU PUNCHED THROUGH MY FACE.

Me, with this tiny little grin: Looks like you just got an extreme makeover.

*I laugh and walk off with two concubines hanging on my arms. They are giggling incessantly, and hold sandwiches. The kind that I like. Also I am shirtless for some reason, and I know tomorrow will be good.*

*Fade out*

End.

Awesome.

Not quite the friend I had in mind.

The Fake Suicide Note Incident.

So, if you know me, you know I like to make jokes. I really like to go out of my way to make a good joke. Effort is hardly ever wasted. Even if the person who the joke is meant for is the only one who doesn't find it funny, or if only one person finds it funny. If theres a chance I can make something funny, I'll probably take it. Humor is like my second blood. I like to make big, elaborate jokes when it calls for it, whether it be making fun of angry, ranting myspace bulletins, or writing a fake suicide note on an internet forum goers behalf. The following story is that of the latter (as you can tell by the title of this).

In a recent thread, the subject was the upcoming Coen Brothers movie, Burn After Reading. In this thread, posters compared the style of this movie to another Coen Brothers movie, Fargo. Anyone who has seen Fargo knows its a bit of a comedy in the first half, then slowly dips into incredibly violent and depressing (compared to the first half, anyways) in the second, and Burn After Reading, based on its trailer, seems to follow that structure. Along with mentioning Fargo, most of the posters were in agreement that Fargo was one of the Coen's best. One poster disagreed, saying that not only he and his friends disliked it, but that he had never met a single soul that actually did like it. Not long after making that statement, another poster came in and quipped that this particular persons life experience had just been expanded because hey, he just met people who clearly liked Fargo.

Then bam, my remaining 20 brain cells kicked in, I got an idea, and I went into ACTION.

The very first thing that popped into my head was to write a suicide note in the character of Mr. DontlikeFargo, saying that not knowing anyone who liked Fargo was the only thing holding him from killing himself, and now that he had, life no longer had meaning. The entire letter was filled with a bunch of things giving away it was a joke, and to send that puppy home, I ended it with "P.S. We're out of rope."

Just as I was about to post this masterpiece I got to thinking "hm, maybe I shouldn't do this. I mean, I know theres hardly a taboo on the forum, but maybe a fake suicide note is pushing the limit." Seriously, I didn't want to post it, then on some insane off chance, another forum poster had a friend or family member who wrote a suicide note before letting bears eat him, then the note brings back awful memories which causes him to go insane and start a war against the bears. He'd never make it out alive, not with WarBear out there, anyways. So, Just to be safe, I messaged a moderator asking if he thought it was a good idea. He replied saying that while he sees nothing wrong with the note, as its all within the context, he felt that other posters had already dug into him enough, so to post my extreme and elaborate joke might be a bit too much of a rib at this point. I said okay, thanked him for the advice, and didn't use it. I put it in my pocket, and left it there for days. After a while I checked my pocket, and after realizing it was no longer there, I figured I threw it away.

Until this morning, that is.

I woke up to the vibration on my phone, as my face felt it right to fall asleep right on top of it. I checked to see who it was, and after realizing it was an unknown call, decided it was not worth answering. They left a message, and I love voicemails, so I checked it. It was my aunty who lives at my dads house, and she had this extremely frantic tone of voice about her. I called her back and asked what was up. She sounded so worried, like someones life was on the line, and said "Michael, I found this note on the ground, and maybe its just one of your video game friends or something, but its a suicide note, Michael!"

Oh shit. Oh shiiiiiiit. I guess I didn't throw it away.

"OH NO NO NO NO, AUNTY WAIT THATS JUST A JOKE!" "What?" "Yeah, for those internet forums I post on, I wrote that as just a joke. If you knew why that was written it'd made complete sense, but yeah, thats not real." After a few seconds of silence, my aunty began talking again, this time with a voice of relief, yet still a bit of concern.

"Michael, I called dad about this."

My heart dropped for a second, as I somehow confused "Dad" with "the police." If there was one thing I didn't want to do at this point, it was have to explain to a bunch of cops that I wrote a fake suicide note to make my internet forum friends laugh. Somehow I think that unless one of them posted on the forums, that would not go down well with them. So, I asked her to repeat that, and it became quite clear that I heard wrong.

"I called dad, Michael. I thought someone was really trying to kill themselves. Especially at the end where it says 'p.s. Were out of rope' and I was like 'what the hell?!' Michael, call him right now before this gets out of hand!"

So we hung up and I called him, who was a lot more calm about it then I thought he would be. I explained it was a joke for the internet forums, to which he replied that that was a bad idea for a joke, and I again explained how it makes complete sense within context, so while everyone on the forums would have got it (and found it hilarious), I agreed that overall, suicide notes are a hard thing to get humor out of.

As much as I want to post the note and show you guys, I'm pretty sure my aunt threw it away by now, which I find to be sad, because I know it was hilarious.

Too bad.