I like to fly sometimes.

I don't know how to put up pictures without bastardizing its size. Man, I hate that.

I DREW A BANNER FOR MY FRIEND'S WEBSITE BLOG THING!

LOOK AT IT! AND THEN ALSO READ ABOUT FOODIES BUT FIRST LOOK AT THE BANNER! I DREW THAT! MEEEEE! AND ITS ON A REAL WEBSITE THAT IS NOT MINE!

Really, I'm really stoked about that.

I just said stoked. Does anyone use that anymore? "hey guys I'm stoked about things!" "Honey I'm home from the office and boy do I have news for you: I just got that big promotion! Boy am I stoked about this. Lets eat dinner and make love on the couch. The nice couch."

LOOK AT IT!

Its called "The Eat Down" and is done by my good friend, Emergency Exit. I forgot her actual name. I'm assuming she had told it to me once before, but I guess I'm not sure about that either because I forgot. She just started this blog and it is about food and food related things, so yeah, check it out if you are into the edibles.

Youngies and Oldies.

Now, I am not a man made of infinite wisdom. I don't know much beyond cheat codes for Contra, but I do know something about maturity, and growing up. Maturity seems to be a thing young people strive for, and old people regret gaining it when they do, because the young people are much more enamored by it then they like to lead on. You got the youngies getting full of themselves with the fake pretentious mind speak, talking like they are on the same level as the oldies, like they know the answers, and are the controllers of the arguments, yet deny ever attempting to be like an oldie. And then you got the oldies, who knows how the youngies speak, and decidedly ignore them, letting them have their way, because they know the youngies will not listen no matter how well you reason, and they will eventually learn one day somehow.

There are some oldies that are bad, a multitude of types. Some try to take advantage of the youngies. These oldies know they can easily manipulate some youngies, because some secretly desire acceptance by the oldies more than others. There are oldies that are not ready to become an oldie, so they only become an oldie in the body, but remain a youngie in the mind. There are even oldies that are just bad, for no more reasons than just because. There are many more, and they seem plentiful, but in reality are a small percentage of oldies, when looking at the entire picture.

If theres one type of person who understands the mind of a youngie, its an oldie, because the oldie was a youngie. For the most part, oldies want to help the youngies, but the youngies want to believe they don't need the help. They strive for independence of the mind, which ironically, is something you don't get by denying the help of other minds. There are two ways to get it. One is, you get it by stopping, and listening, and saying "hey, it seems they do know what they are talking about after all, I think I will listen!" and the other is to sort of fall into it with time. In which case, you'll follow the first way, except you won't feel it. The sad thing is, it rarely works out the first way. Some even believe the first way, is merely an invisible bridge made of regret, and hindsight.

We are all on the same choochoo train track, and are destined to make the same mistakes as the person before us. No one wants to admit it, but we all know its mostly true. Its a scary and dangerous thought to take in, so the youngie rarely does, thinking they will be the one to prove the process incorrect, and that is often what brings them down the path we followed, and sometimes derails them. Thats okay, because most eventually become an oldie, and become accepted among the other oldies, who in the end, are just young oldies and old youngies, because there are always older oldies. Of course, the oldie's youngies are still, and will possibly always be irritating to their oldies, and sometimes need to be quiet when faced with them, and the infinite questions on the train we call life.

A poem for the girl I like.

The following poem was written like this on purpose. Its supposed to have that terrible rhyme scheme.

----

Hey there, (name withheld)
I wrote this for you
To point out the pros
Of me liking you

Yes I'm not handsome
But I'm moderately strong
I won't fight a bear for you
But I'll beat that jerk John (assuming there ever was a jerk named john who needed beatings)

I know you are social
and I totally am not
You're also a nympho
though I disapprove, thats still pretty hot

Don't get me wrong
I'm not all about sex
Just that you said you're a nympho
and thats pretty hot

I mean, I don't know many nymphos
and if I did that'd be neat
but then I'm sure I'd still see you
as the right one for me

I mean come on! Nympho!
I kind of like that word
I can't seem to rhyme nympho
and I'll go ahead and rhyme word with word

You know, I once learned in class
that poems don't always rhyme
Which is pretty cool
Because this stanza doesn't either

So, I've gone off topic
which is totally bad
but the point is, (name withheld)
I'd love to be your man

I'd stop all my bullshit
and get a good job
well, maybe not a good one
but fuck, it'd still be a job

I'd work hard
and I'd buy you what you will
I'd take you to restaurants
And we wouldn't have to run on the bill

Of course when we went
you'd still have to drive
I mean, I guess I could meet you there
but I really don't want to walk

you know, I'm bad at this
being romantic
but I'd rather make you laugh
than be all pedantic

I'm assuming, of course
this did indeed make you laugh
please tell me it did
or I'll cry off my ass

But anyways, (name withheld)
At least consider giving me a chance
because I'd love to make you happy
and in return let me hold your hand

Oh lord the things I've seen.

Contrary to the title of this post, this is not about the various things I've seen. I've seen nothing. I need to get a new job. There was a job fair recently, and a few days before it I kept telling myself "I am going to go this job fair. I am going to go to it so fucking hard." Man, I was ready to job the hell out of the fair. I was going to job it so hard it'd have to fire its employees as a way to simulate ejaculation... Um, well, anyways, I was really dead set to going. I was so dead set on going, that not only did I not go, but I also saw Speed Racer. For the fourth time. That is an extremely mind blowing movie. Makes me feel happy to be alive.

So, I've been trying to get back on my writing foot. I got some really good ideas, and I mean good, totally unique ideas. I just am too lazy to write them. Its a shame, considering I'm the guy who is trying to become Mr. Movie Maker Man. On one hand, I'm slightly not worried, because I'm 20. Lots of time left. I am very worried, however, because I refuse to go to film school. Or, my local uni's film program. I have a friend who goes and from what he tells me its a crock of shit. Plus, I never believed in film school in the first place. But this means I need to work twice as hard if I want things to get things moving for me. I know I got my friend in the class, but I can't count on him to start my career, even though we work together on a lot of stuff. I would not mind if he got a job and brought me with him, and then from there we created our thing, but I don't want him or anyone else to see me as a tag-a-long. I'm a dude with dreams, and I need to work damn hard to make it true. Its terrible because I know that I am incredibly talented and good with this type of stuff. I really do not want this to seem as if I'm big headed, but I know from the bottom of my heart that I can do this. I just need to get over this hump.

I've been trying to make music for my fake band, but I am too fake lazy. Fuck.