Love in a Land Where Good Things Could Happen.

Frank, the way she makes me feel. Its wonderful!

Really? Tell me about it.

Oh man, this feeling. I really hope its love. My lord life has never been so beautiful. Colors never so vibrant, smells never so smelly, but its the good type of smelly, and its wonderful!

What else?

I feel like my world is no longer complete when she is not next to me. There is this void, this black hole of sorrow when I can't hold her close to me and feel her warm skin pressed against mine. Theres nothing more that I'd love to do then to just hold on to her forever and never let her go. I'd fight a dog for her, heck, maybe even two dogs!

That sounds sweet and romantic.

Doesn't it, Frank!? It is insane, because though I have held many hands, and kissed many lips, I've never felt the same way as when I hold her hands and kiss her lips. This is the end, the pinnacle, the peak of emotion, and I feel so lucky that I've reached it with her.

Thats beautiful. That really is.

I just, I feel so numb, and it hurts to speak, hurts to breathe. I feel like I... I feel like I could just drop dead, right this instant. Just fall down, and die, you know? Just right down to the very asphalt we are standing on, and just die.

Really?

Yes, really! It feels so good and never ending that it could easily be mistaken for some sort of perpetual state of unbearable pain in which I can feel death himself tugging at me, trying to bring me into the world of the dead! Even more, I feel like accepting!

Steve.

The feeling is so great that I can barely stand right now. I can't walk. I feel like if I did, I'd just collapse, and have it be done with. This feeling is incredible!

Steve...

Yes Frank?

I'm pretty sure you're having a heart attack.

What?

Yeah, I mean, I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure you're uh... Look just hold on, I'm going to call an ambulance.

You mean I'm not in love?

I really don't know.

So this guy...

So, on wednesday, this guy killed his wife, kid, and then himself. Everyone that knew them was shocked by this. This family lived in a really nice house in Mililani (for you folks that don't live on Oahu, its a place where mostly well-to-do people live), and had what looked like to be a bunch of good things going for them. Their friends and family and such were not aware that they were apparently in crippling debt, had family problems, and the husband had some seriously messed up mental problems. According to their friends, they seemed like the family to compare their own to (I'm exaggerating on that one but work with me). Then you know, the husband goes and kills everyone and ruins the entire image.

So, to continue on, I'm thinking about this, specifically about how know one knew. No one knew they had problems, and so now everyone is shocked that they did, and even more, are also now dead. This kind of makes me glad I don't really have a problem letting people know when I'm miserable, because at least when/if I go insane and kill a shit load of people, everyone that knows me will say "fuck, I guess I saw it coming."

I don't even mean that as a joke (mostly). Seriously, I'm sure my friends probably say things when I'm not around like "man, that Michael, I love the guy but damn does he get really depressing sometimes" or "That guy is much like a math book, in that they both have a lot of problems." I'm sure they say that, or have said things of that nature on at least a few occasions. See, thing here is, at least they know I feel fucked up sometimes, and whether or not they feel its their place to do something, there would be no surprise to them if I ended up doing something totally insane. Really, they'd just say "Eh, saw it coming. Totally knew he was going to do that. You know what would have surprised me, though? If he didn't."

Garett, I totally imagine you saying that (Since most of you PWOT folks don't know Garett, do know he says things like that with this really funny face, and I guess you got to be there to really appreciate it, but yeah, its amazing. And yes, that is how his name is spelled).

What I am getting at here is I am not a man of unforeseen consequences, and I'm glad I'm not a man with a life down a road with a shitload of (voluntary) turns, because hot pockets are delicious, and I hope you agree.

EDIT: By the way, I am totally not planning on going insane and killing people. I like to think I have enough control over myself that no matter how depressed/angry/insane I may get, I'll never hulk my fist through anyones (or my own) face. That'd be pretty awesome though, wouldn't it? It'd be like that scene in Kung Pow when The Chosen One punches a hole through that guys stomach, except you know, it will be his face. I think if I did do that though, I could only do it under the condition I say some sweet one liner just after I do it. Maybe it will go as follows:

Me: Arg! *PUNCH THROUGH DUDES FACE*

Dude: AHH YOU PUNCHED THROUGH MY FACE.

Me, with this tiny little grin: Looks like you just got an extreme makeover.

*I laugh and walk off with two concubines hanging on my arms. They are giggling incessantly, and hold sandwiches. The kind that I like. Also I am shirtless for some reason, and I know tomorrow will be good.*

*Fade out*

End.

Awesome.